Things I learned at Church, Part 1: Real Men do Cry

With this post, I'd like to begin a series of reflections about valuable things I learned at church.  I know many writers who take on the topic of their childhood church find much to critique and dismiss.  After almost nine months of disrupted church attendance due to the pandemic, I have found myself thinking about the positive impact that being part of a worshipping community has had on my life.

   The church my family attended while I was growing up was not an outstanding structure. Generic red-brown brick on the outside, cement steps with wrought iron railings leading to wide wooden doors, and plain wooden pews without cushions were fairly typical for a church constructed around 1960 in Ontario, Canada.  As a worshipping community, these people had been together for just over a decade when I was born.  All but one or two attendees had an ethnic tie to the Netherlands; these people were known for their thrift, hard work and stoic outlook on life.

   Given this last point, it is ironic that it was at this church where I learned that real men do cry.  When I grew up, every pastor and everyone in church leadership was male. And yet among these men, vulnerability was not shunned. Elders and pastors regularly announced things from the pulpit and led in prayers. It happened that when the news was sad or the prayer need painful, there were pauses to compose oneself or voices that broke with emotion.  I learned that it was all right to feel things at my church.

   One man of my parents' generation was a farmer.  I remember the first time I observed this man weeping during a church service. He was not loud, but there were tears and deep sighs that moved his body.  On the drive home, my parents compassionately explained that he had seen many painful things during a colonial war.  Perhaps a song brought back one of these difficult memories.  It wasn't the only time this gentleman cried in church.  Knowing more than I did then, it's likely this man was dealing with PTSD. But more important than a label, there was room at church for his tears.

   Another man I saw cry in church was a delivery driver for a lumber yard.  His tears did not need any explanation.  I was in Grade 5 when his two pre-school children died in a car crash.  That he might sometimes be overcome with emotion made complete sense to me.  Grief was appropriate to express at church.

   As a teenager I recall scanning the whole group of people in attendance one Sunday morning and coming to the realization that every single one of the men serving as an elder or deacon had experienced a deep tragedy in his life.  Leaders at my church were not those who lived removed from the brokenness of the world; they were real people with real emotion.  Since these people were voted in by the members, what some might consider weakness was viewed as a strength. As I reflect on these things decades later, it's one of the things I'm grateful to have learned at church.

An analysis of leadership in the film "The 33"

   The film entitled "The 33" commemorates events that took place in a Chilean copper and gold mine in the Atacama Desert between August 5, 2010 and October 13, 2010.  Thirty-three miners were trapped underground when a large part of the mine collapsed, blocking the way out.  The details of how they survived and were ultimately rescued are shared in this 127 minute movie.
   Since I am taking a course on leadership, I took note of how both the miners and those on the surface demonstrated leadership in this story.  I realize that not everything dramatized in the movie actually happened, but I still think we can learn some things about what leaders do and do not do.
Underground Leaders
   Without individuals taking leadership after the mine collapse, the outcome would have been much different.  In the film, we have the shift leader Luis making sure all the men made it to "The Refuge" because it was the safest place.  He had earlier tried to speak with his boss about broken mirrors in the mine that were indicators of shifting rock and thus danger to the workers, but his warnings were ignored.
   When the men realize that the radio is broken, the first aid kit is not fully equipped, the ladders in the ventilation shafts do not go up to the very top and that there is only food enough for three days, they are ready to despair.  Their company has not taken good care of them to this point, so how could they expect anyone to try to rescue them?  At this point Mario speaks with conviction and says, "I choose to believe that we will get out of here."  He is not the shift leader, but he inspires confidence in the other men.  They entrust him with the key to the food cupboard and accept the rationing plan he makes so that the canned tuna and other staples will last as long as possible.
   During the time between being discovered alive and actually being taken out of the mine, the media finds out about Mario's leadership role.  He is offered an exclusive book deal; when the other miners find out about this they become upset.  In their minds, he has lost his status as a leader because they feel betrayed.  However, Mario ultimately determines not to sign the book deal and tells the others he has not done so because he wants them all to remain "brothers."  Mario thus shows himself to be an ethical leader they can trust.
   Jose is another leader, a spiritual leader.  He prays with the men and counsels them.  When one of them is caught in the ravages of alcohol withdrawal, Jose is gentle with him and helps him overcome this demon.
Leaders on the Surface
   The first so-called leader we encounter is the boss at the Copiapo mine.  This man had the power to prevent the trauma that these miners endured.  He was given clear evidence that seismic activity was making the area unsafe, but all he could think of was quotas of copper and gold he wanted the workers to extract.  He was so focused on production numbers that he failed to see the human beings being placed at risk.  After the collapse, he makes excuses and begins to name the psychological problems that some of the miners have, hinting that they will kill each other before any rescue plan can be expedited.  This person in a leadership position loses his authority as the government takes over the rescue operation.
   When the Minister of Mining, Laurence Golborne, addresses the Chilean president, they discuss that the mine is privately owned. There is no legal obligation for them to get involved, but the moral obligation is given weight.  The Minister of Mining goes to the site to assess the situation.  By seeing the human face of the family members calling for answers, he stops at nothing to try to reach the trapped miners.  When the chief engineer tells him there is only a 1% chance that the drills will be able to reach The Refuge due to the drills veering off course because of depth and the hardness of the rock they are going through, the Minister of Mining says they will try anyways.  When the chief engineer has given up because none of the attempts thus far had yielded any results and because he can't imagine the miners could still be alive after so many days underground, the Minister of Mining urges the workers to learn from the mistakes of earlier attempts and try again.
   The Minister of Mining and the Chief Engineer both dedicate weeks of their lives to this effort. They forego sleep and the comforts of home because they are bound to the mission of rescuing every last man from the depths of the mine before it becomes too late.  The willingness to accept help and expertise from a variety of nations contributes to the happy result that not one man was lost.
Divine Intervention
   The rescue of the Chilean miners could not have happened without the leaders among the miners themselves or the leaders of the search and rescue operation from the surface.  Nevertheless, the miners themselves and the President of Chile acknowledged that the happy ending for these miners was none other than God's miraculous intervention.  The miners turned to God in their time of desperation.  Family members and strangers prayed that these men would be found and brought back to the surface.  The miners wrote on one of the walls "God was with us." Priest Juan Carlos Sansadrai, who was ministering to families in Chile reported "It's been a trying time, but faith can move mountains" [1].

[1]   "Faith Plays Key Role for Trapped Chilean Miners, Families," CNN. 9 September 2010. from the original on 8 July 2011. Retrieved 10 October 2016.

 

Words of Support and Prayer for Your Pastor

   In my faith tradition we are very intentional about saying that every lay person has a vocation in which he or she can serve God.  Being a pastor or missionary is not stated as being the highest calling to which one can aspire.  
   Nevertheless, holding this leadership office does carry special weight and responsibility that should not be taken lightly.  Psalm 20 gives us words we can use to support and pray for our pastor(s).  The parts I have adjusted or paraphrased will be found in italics.  This translation of Psalm 20 comes from the New International Version of the Bible.


May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you when you are overwhelmed by your office.  

May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.  May he remember all your acts of service and accept your prayers offered in faith.

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans for the well-being of your flock succeed.

We will shout for joy when you rally us against injustice and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.  May the LORD grant all your requests.

Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed, those he has called to special work; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.

Some trust in wealth and some in their good reputation, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

Idols and their worshipers are brought to their knees and fall, but in Christ we rise up and stand firm.

O LORD, sustain and uphold our pastor!  Answer us when we call in Jesus' name!  Amen.

Favor

"And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed towards this people..."  Exodus 3: 21

   Already at the burning bush, God tells Moses this outcome of their deliverance from Egyptian bondage.  The phrase "favorably disposed towards" is a phrase that is repeated a couple more times in Exodus 11 and 12, referring to the attitude of the Egyptians, who give them all kinds of treasures as they leave in the night.  The Israelites asked their neighbors for things, and they were not refused. The explanation for their gifts is quickly followed by a reference that the Egyptian people and court officials had a high view of Moses and respected him even when Pharaoh insisted on double dealing and hardening his heart.
   This phrase about being "favorably disposed towards" someone resonates with me because so much in our relationships and communications with others depends on our general disposition towards one another.  If someone is naturally disposed to mistrust others or to see any change as a threat, it will have a significant effect on how one may relate to him or her.  An outlook of suspicion tends to poison even well-meant gestures or kind words.
   I'm increasingly convinced that in addition to praying for vision, good ideas and wisdom, leaders ought also to ask the LORD to make others "favorably disposed towards" them and the wise and godly ideas they are presenting.  Unless there is a level of favor and respect to properly listen to what needs to be presented, explained or taught, little progress can be made. Whether it is a building program that requires donors to come forward or a change in focus for an organization, favor is much needed among the stakeholders.  When we recognize that such favor needs to precede our flashy presentation, we will humbly go to the only One who can cultivate such a quality in people's hearts.
   We can learn from another Bible character in this regard. Nehemiah prayed to God for the king's favor when he was about to request a leave of absence so that he might rebuild Jerusalem's walls.  It is recorded that the Persian King Artaxerxes, who would not naturally be inclined to help a subjugated people, did give favor to Nehemiah's petition.  He granted him letters of support and building materials as well.
   When God prepares people's hearts, we will often be surprised at the generous outpouring of support.

Two Men Named Saul: A Study in Humility

"I believe that the first test of a great man is his humility. I don't mean by humility, doubt of his power. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not of them, but through them."
~John Ruskin, British writer 1819-1900

   The first man named Saul we meet in the Bible is taken aback when the prophet Samuel addresses him as the first king of Israel, and one on whom the hopes of the nation are set.  He says in 1 Samuel 9:21, "But am I not a Benjamite from the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin? Why do you say such a thing to me?"  Saul passes this initial test.  He has no ambitions to become king or even be a leader among Israel.  He saw his own weakness, not his height (he was a head taller than his peers) or impressiveness.
   We know what happened to Saul and that somewhere along the line he began to feel entitled and grasped his position with such fierceness that he feared rivals, including his son-in-law.  Taking 3,000 soldiers with him, he pursues David relentlessly.
   A second Saul of the tribe of Benjamin becomes part of God's story in the book of Acts.  His initial demeanour is proud and hard-nosed--a Pharisee who shunned others for being less righteous than himself.  He takes a delegation to the Damascus synagogue in order to arrest followers of Jesus.  
   However, God humbles him on the road, causing him to become blind and helpless.  When he regains his sight he becomes a new man, one who is ready to be an ambassador for Christ to the far reaches of the Roman Empire and among non-Jews.
   Saul is renamed Paul (meaning "little") even as he takes the lead in missionary journeys with Barnabas and later with Silas and Luke.  He receives a thorn in the flesh that further reminds Saul of his weakness.  His missionary achievements and his visions of heaven do not make him proud.
   By God's grace, Paul passed the test of a great man to the end, even though he would have failed it at the beginning.
   Wherever God has placed us in some level of authority (as a parent, in our workplaces, church work, etc.), we need to retain that "curious feeling that the greatness" is not of us.  God is the source, so a posture of submission to him is fitting for all leaders.