Role Models for Boys and Men

   Over the past five years I have read many books and done much thinking about the way boys and men are portrayed in books, in films and in video games. Two dominant themes stand out: the man admired as a warrior or soldier and the alternative, the man who is disrespected as a wimp or pushover.  Unfortunately, evangelical Christianity in North America over the past 50 years, through its support of "strong male leaders" in churches and government, has emphasized a rugged, militant masculinity. Jesus and John Wayne (2020) by Kristin Kobes Du Mez traces the subtle and overt ways that American evangelicalism favours the warrior male and overlooks other models or archetypes that are positive ways of being a man. It should be noted that in the life of real men, some of these archetypes will overlap. Because I am addressing what seems to me a warped understanding of biblical masculinity, I will also point out Bible characters who exemplify each archetype.

   Two researchers (William Brazos and Debby Zambo) have examined children's literature through the lens of positive male role models and have itemized eight different archetypes. They suggest that reading class could become more appealing to boys if some of these archetypes are highlighted through the books selected for study, from kindergarten to 12th grade. These books may help to counterbalance the messages from video games and films that present just one way to become a successful man: a warrior. At the same time, they present options other than the wimp, misfit or loser. 

  To be fair and transparent, Brazos and Zambo include "warrior" as one of their eight archetypes. However, this warrior is no Rambo or John Wayne. According to Brazos (2002), this warrior "never acts out of revenge but takes responsibility for his actions and upholds ethical codes of honor, restraint and humility" [1].  Looking at historical figures, we may point to Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Jesse Owens and Jackie Robinson as men who demonstrated moral courage and self-control to seek justice for the people they represented. In the Bible, Joshua and King David are warriors very much aware that they are accountable to God for all their actions.

  Next, consider the male archetype of "prophet."  Such a man speaks out for truth and holds out a vision for a better future. Scientists, journalists, political leaders and pastors can be modern-day prophets when they address falsehood, injustice and ignorance. Aside from the big name prophets with books named after them (Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel and many others), Samuel, John the Baptizer and Jesus were known for speaking truth to power regardless of the risks and consequences.

  "Pilgrim" or "pioneer" is the next male archetype to reflect on. Full of hope and faith, he embarks on a literal or figurative journey to discover improvements to life. Noble men with this kind of life include Louis Braille, John Glenn and Terry Fox. Books like The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and Trumpet of the Swan contain quests to bring about a better future. Moses and the Apostle Paul both took journeys with the goal of care and responsibility.

  The "healer" found in stories and everyday life is the man who has a gift to help those who are suffering.  He may be a doctor, nurse or paramedic who treats physical illness or a spiritual person like a pastor, counselor or guru to guide a person in the area of emotions or bring healing from difficult experiences. Ben Carson, Paul Brand and Frederick Banting are notable men whose passion was to bring healing to others. Of course, Jesus is the quintessential healer in the Bible, preceded by Elijah and Elisha and followed by Peter and other disciples.

  A trustworthy and wise leader embodies the "king" archetype. He is generous and dignified, caring for the needs of those over whom he has authority. Teachers, principals, business owners and political leaders all have the opportunity to live into this kind of leadership. Like Ernest Shackleton, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela, they do not seek the status or privileges of being a leader but put their energies into concern for others. Biblical examples of the king include Solomon, Hezekiah, Josiah and, ultimately, Jesus Christ.

  While patriarchy has a bad name, the archetype of "patriarch" or father figure is a noble one. Fathers and grandfathers who pass on care and skills to the next generation are pillars in society. The commitment and stability of a father who is invested in his family and community is exemplified in real men like Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King Jr, Abraham and Job. Men like George Muller and Charles Mully, who became fathers to orphans and ensured their well being also stand out as patriarchs.

  Another archetype is that of "magician," a man who clever and intuitive. He seems to carry an inner magic with him. In books and films, we may think of mature wizards like Dumbledore and Gandalf. In the realm of everyday life, artists like Leonardo DaVinci, inventors like Nikola Tesla and daredevils like Harry Houdini fit these criteria. In the construction of the Jerusalem Temple, a man named Bezalel is held up as a skilled craftsmen second to none (Exodus 31, 36). John, the writer of Revelation, along with Daniel and Joseph who interpreted dreams also had mystical traits.

  "Wildman"is another archetype that William Brazos discovered in literature. This man is close to nature while being independent and unpredictable. Men who identify with this male model may be survivalists or those who climb mountains or "discover" islands and poles. Whether they seek the outdoors for recreation (hiking, cycling, camping) or find a career as park rangers, farmers, guides or naturalists, they see the limits of city life. The prophet Elijah and John the Baptizer were both known for their simple lifestyles, the first as one of survived a famine by eating meat brought to him by ravens and the second living in the wilderness, where he purportedly ate locusts and wild honey.

  The final archetype that is put forth in the work of Brazos is that of "trickster." This figure is found extensively in Native American stories and tales, but can also be found in characters like Robin Hood and Br'er Rabbit. A trickster uses his wits to deal with disadvantages and pokes fun at those who are lofty and proud. He may also be clever with music (both lyrics and styles) to challenge what is traditional. Comedians, political cartoonists, writers, creative musicians and inspirational speakers who use humour can exhibit qualities of trickster in their lives. The preacher of Ecclesiastes and some of the parables of Jesus reveal a trickster element, where perplexities are held up and examined.

  In other posts I have bemoaned children's literature that celebrates the anti-hero, a male character who is lazy and anti-social. You can find one such post here. As William Brazos has pointed out, males can be admirable in many different ways.  There are many healthy and positive ways to be a boy and a man. The archetypes and models shared here are not exhaustive and can overlap in the real life story of any boy or man. Most of all, the man Jesus came to live among us and show us what godliness looks like. Rather than trying to obliterate his enemies, he told profound stories, prayed, healed the sick, listened to people, honoured children and women, proclaimed the truth, did not seek to accumulate wealth or status, and showed people how to truly love others.

[1] Brazos, William (2002) To be a boys, To be a reader. International Reading Association.

Inspiring people during the Pandemic

The current pandemic has brought much disruption and hardship. Lamenting the people and routines we have lost are a healthy part of coping with this pain and suffering.  This blog post will be sharing some stories of people who have inspired me during the pandemic.  Perhaps their stories will also encourage and inspire you.

Connectors

When meeting with people outside of our households became impossible, three seniors I know decided to reach out in original and inspiring ways.

HANK

This man has the gift of singing and story telling.  He is a retired teacher and principal who lives alone, but he has grown a ministry during the pandemic that has continues to grow.  Each week, he telephones a roster of 60 people who live alone or are isolated in some other way.  He calls to make a personal connection and to sing a song for them over the telephone. Most of the time, these songs are hymns. He researches the story that led to the writing of the song and shares this background with the person he is calling.  Then, acapella, he sings the song.  One song he has sung for people is "One Day at a Time."  I am not on his phone list, but I heard him sing it at an anniversary party in 2019. The words and the conviction with which he shared them still stand out in my mind.

DENNIS

Another retired gentleman decided last spring to open up his paper address book and pick up the phone to call someone he might not have spoken with for some time.  He called someone different every day. People who received his call expressed gratitude, and they shared together what has been going on in their lives lately.  In a world of text and email, the sound of a human voice is still a treat. The boldness and determination to call these contacts is inspiring.

NEL

This retired woman comes from a large family.  Eight of her siblings are still alive, and one passed away a few years ago.  She and her late husband used to own a successful business, and they had no children. At Christmas time, she wanted to bless each of her sisters and brothers with a generous financial gift. The most inspiring part of this story is that she included her widowed sister-in-law in the disbursement.  She had no obligation to do so, and she had to insist to her accountant that this was what she wanted to do, regardless of what the accountant advised.  The ripple effects of her gift extended far beyond what Nel imagined, since one of her sisters also shared the windfall with her children and grandchildren.

Physical Fitness

For many people, the disruptions of pandemic life meant less activity and exercise.  Two individuals did not let the pandemic stop them from continuing to strive for lofty goals of fitness.

MARJORIE

I am not sure how long this woman who lives on my street has had her current walking regimen.  She walks ten kilometers every day, no matter the weather.  Now, she did not announce this to me.  Rather, as I picked up the habit of walking every day when I started working from home in March 2020, I would sometimes encounter her on various streets.  She moved with purpose and was dressed for exercise. I would greet her and carry on with my own walk or errand on foot.  Finally, I stopped her and asked how far she walks.  I was floored when she said she walks ten kilometers every day.  Her job has recently become permanently a "work from home" position.  She loves that, and it does not stop her from being active every day.

CHRIS

When I heard about the achievement Chris had made on the radio in November 2020, I was so excited.  Chris is a 21 year old young man who lives in Florida.  He completed an ironman race that included cycling, swimming and running.  He is the first person with Down Syndrome to accomplish this feat.  In the interview with his father, it was stated that Chris trained for more than a year to prepare for this event. To spare Chris unneccesary pain or hardship, his father and trainer set out a goal of 1% improvement each day. The length of time in the water, on a bike or on the track was increased gradually.  This principle of gradual, 1% improvement in even one area of life is inspiring for me.  It is something achievable and can become a part of a sustainable lifestyle!

I'd love to hear about people in your life who have inspired you during the pandemic.  There is plenty of gloomy news out there, but as the Apostle Paul encourages, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things" [Philippians 4:8, NIV].

Things I learned at church, Part 3: Faith and Deeds Work Together

   To those outside of a church, it may seem that churches exist mainly through words, doctrines, creeds and statements.  What I have learned is that church is a place where these words and beliefs come to life in real and practical actions.  The impact of the people nurtured by the teachings of the church is felt more widely than even they might imagine.

   My first awareness of community volunteering came through my church.  "Meals on Wheels," a community agency delivering hot meals to seniors or disabled people, relies upon volunteer drivers.  In our weekly church bulletin was a regular notice telling the members of the church about what time and date they would be needed to help out. Visits to a local nursing home were coordinated through the church, as a way to provide social support to isolated seniors.  These volunteer opportunities existed 40 years ago and have expanded to include food banks, "Out of the Cold" programs using church facilities to provide shelter for the homeless, and many more. Church members are often the ones who recognize community needs and who also fill the ranks of needed volunteer help.

   Churches are also places to get practical help, for insiders (as I highlight in the story below) and for those outside. This is true for those who attend: help is requested and given when someone is ill in the hospital or needs a ride to medical appointments or needs some cash to pay bills due to a work setback. People bringing over baked goods or a meal in a time of struggle is a common show of support in church circles. One strong memory of practical help happened when my family of origin was going through a crisis.  I was away from home doing summer volunteer work and heard about it later. My father could not work that day, but the livestock needed attention. My mother called two families from the church asking if they could send someone over to help. No questions were asked; no explanation was needed.  The young adults who came over and did the farm chores have probably forgotten all about it, but their gift of time is still appreciated by me today. 

   As alluded to in an earlier post in this series, churches take up offerings.  The church where I grew up took up two offerings.  That might sound greedy; however, the first offering went to paying bills, the pastor and practical costs of operating a church.  The second offering was designated for a different cause each week. It was only touched by those counting it and then was passed along to community organizations, agencies or was put in a fund to help people in need who approached the church. It was instilled in me that true generosity flows to those outside of the church building.  According to 2013 Canadian statistics, 41% of the dollars given to charities went to religious organizations [1]. One should not assume that these funds remained in those buildings; they were meant to go out. Yes, some of the work done by religious organizations involves sharing their message with those who have not heard it before. In the spirit of the churches I am acquainted with, the motivation for giving is love--love that seeks to meet human needs regardless of the religious affiliation of the recipient.

   If churches only communicate their message in words, then as the Apostle James declares, "...faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead" (James 3:17 NIV). I am grateful to have learned the vital lesson of faith and deeds working in tandem, at church. Now it's my responsibility to live it out for the next generation.

[1]Turcotte, Martin. Volunteering and charitable giving in Canada. Statistics Canada Report, 2015, page 13. 2015https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/pub/89-652-x/89-652-x2015001-eng.pdf?st=idKPvHV6 

Things I learned at church, Part 2: Worship is a two-way conversation

I sometimes think that a person coming to a church service for the first time must find it confusing. When do you sit and when do you stand? Are you supposed to kneel? What do some of those words mean? Will someone show me where to find the next song or passage that everyone else is looking up?

Although the church I grew up in did not have a complex liturgy, there were still different elements: prayers, songs, readings, an offering, a sermon and sometimes a baptism or communion. Because I was immersed in this style of worship from a young age, I did not really question it.  At about age 10 or 12, a church school teacher explained to our class that there was a purposeful structure to a worship service.  

When the pastor or an elder spoke from the Bible, it represented God speaking to the people.  That was because what this leader said was not just a personal opinion or something original that he wanted to talk about.  There was a "greeting" that was a direct quote from the Bible, usually from a Psalm.  A reading of the 10 commandments or a summary of the law would come a bit later.  The reading of another Scripture would be followed by a sermon. An announcement of what the offering would be used for would also come from the pulpit.

But coming to church was not just listening to the leader speak.  Each time, like a back and forth pattern, the people would have something to contribute too: a prayer saying sorry after the law was read, a song of response, giving the offering, the word "amen," another prayer asking God to bless the word as we read it, another song responding to the content of the message, another prayer that was more personal, sharing the needs of people we knew, and so on.

Many churches today have simplified their liturgy even more.  They start with a welcome, 3 or 4 songs in a row, time to read the Bible and hear a talk about it, a prayer, maybe one more song and then the service is over.  But even here, the gathered people are active in both listening and responding.  Going to church is never passive, even if it's done online. By singing along, praying along and deeply listening, we are taking part in a conversation with the God of the universe, who knows us better than we know ourselves.

Things I learned at Church, Part 1: Real Men do Cry

With this post, I'd like to begin a series of reflections about valuable things I learned at church.  I know many writers who take on the topic of their childhood church find much to critique and dismiss.  After almost nine months of disrupted church attendance due to the pandemic, I have found myself thinking about the positive impact that being part of a worshipping community has had on my life.

   The church my family attended while I was growing up was not an outstanding structure. Generic red-brown brick on the outside, cement steps with wrought iron railings leading to wide wooden doors, and plain wooden pews without cushions were fairly typical for a church constructed around 1960 in Ontario, Canada.  As a worshipping community, these people had been together for just over a decade when I was born.  All but one or two attendees had an ethnic tie to the Netherlands; these people were known for their thrift, hard work and stoic outlook on life.

   Given this last point, it is ironic that it was at this church where I learned that real men do cry.  When I grew up, every pastor and everyone in church leadership was male. And yet among these men, vulnerability was not shunned. Elders and pastors regularly announced things from the pulpit and led in prayers. It happened that when the news was sad or the prayer need painful, there were pauses to compose oneself or voices that broke with emotion.  I learned that it was all right to feel things at my church.

   One man of my parents' generation was a farmer.  I remember the first time I observed this man weeping during a church service. He was not loud, but there were tears and deep sighs that moved his body.  On the drive home, my parents compassionately explained that he had seen many painful things during a colonial war.  Perhaps a song brought back one of these difficult memories.  It wasn't the only time this gentleman cried in church.  Knowing more than I did then, it's likely this man was dealing with PTSD. But more important than a label, there was room at church for his tears.

   Another man I saw cry in church was a delivery driver for a lumber yard.  His tears did not need any explanation.  I was in Grade 5 when his two pre-school children died in a car crash.  That he might sometimes be overcome with emotion made complete sense to me.  Grief was appropriate to express at church.

   As a teenager I recall scanning the whole group of people in attendance one Sunday morning and coming to the realization that every single one of the men serving as an elder or deacon had experienced a deep tragedy in his life.  Leaders at my church were not those who lived removed from the brokenness of the world; they were real people with real emotion.  Since these people were voted in by the members, what some might consider weakness was viewed as a strength. As I reflect on these things decades later, it's one of the things I'm grateful to have learned at church.

The Gift of Sky

The heavens declare the glory of God;
            the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Psalm 19:1

   I have been pondering this verse for many days, weeks and months. I have wanted to write about it, and finally the opportunity has come.
   The writer has much to say in Psalm 19; however, it is actually something other than the author that declares and proclaims.  The skies remind us of just how small we are compared to the vastness our eyes can see. The skies are the original "screen" on which people may observe bits of reality:

• sunrises
• constellations
• meteor showers
• hot air balloons
• rain showers
• faces in the clouds
• sunbeams
• blue skies
• the International Space Station
• clouds that warn us of inclement weather
• fog
• sunsets
• phases of the moon
• the morning star (Venus)
• jet streams
• birds and insects in flight
• snowflakes falling
• rainbows

   By having visual access to the sky, we open ourselves up to the glory of God, but many things in our modern lives block that sky from view.  We cut ourselves off from this manifestation of the glory of God in many ways we may scarcely realize:

• Spending much of our days indoors, at work or school
• Walking outside with our heads down, looking at smart phones
• Asking "Alexa" or "Google" what the weather is instead of looking out the window
• Cityscapes that block the horizon in all directions
• Light pollution at night
• The appeal of video games, which keeps children inside
• Basements and garages that become places of repose
• A narrowed range of vision when driving in a car or truck, unless it is a convertible
• Smog

  Prison inmates are a group of human beings often cut off from the sky, yet most Western jurisdictions mandate at least one hour of fresh air and sunlight, the chance to be outside and see the sky.  Although this policy is based on the human need for exercise and movement and the desire to avoid the pitfalls of idleness, I would argue that giving prisoners a chance to see the sky each day is restorative to the spirit. 

   How much time have you spent outside today, where you could have direct access to the glory of God revealed by the sky?  Don't underestimate its value.

Inspiration for Remote Learning

As we embarked on Week Nine of Remote Learning in Ontario, Canada, I shared this devotion with my staff via Zoom.

Colossians 2:5
For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.

2 Timothy 1:3-4
 I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.

Romans 1:11-13a
 I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith. I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters,[d] that I planned many times to come to you (but have been prevented from doing so until now) 

1 Thessalonians 2:17-18
But, brothers and sisters, when we were orphaned by being separated from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of our intense longing we made every effort to see you. For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, did, again and again—but Satan blocked our way.

Exodus 3:3-5
So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight--why the bush does not burn up."
   And when the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses, Moses!"
   And Moses said, "Here I am."
   "Do not come any closer," God said. Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."

In 1994, when I was hired for my first teaching job, it was at a school opening its doors for the first time that September.  The position was to teach Grade 6, 7 and 8 in the same classroom, with nine pupils.  To encourage myself that such a task was indeed possible, I spent a week in May observing in my uncle's Grade 4-8 classroom in Renfrew.  Seeing firsthand how someone else was capably teaching and managing an atypical arrangement gave me a bit more confidence.

Where do we find models like this to encourage us during remote learning?  Aside from the inspiration we can gain from one another, which is nonetheless helpful, and from reading about teachers in China, I've been struck by two other sources.

New Testament Epistles

Repeatedly, the apostle Paul is unable to be present with individuals and groups due to factors outside his control.  He wants to reach out and teach the believers, but he can't do so in person.  Paul's remote teaching method came in the form of letter writing.  In fact, our New Testament would be missing a great chunk if it were not for the remote teaching that not only Paul but Peter, James, John and Jude availed themselves of.  Many of these letters contain prayers, but they were certainly accompanied by prayers on behalf of the letter writer.  When we as teachers provide written lessons to our students, our heart is communicated and our prayers accompany them.

Mr. Rogers

Mr. Rogers created a remote learning program to reach and teach children about how to relate to others and expand their understanding of the world around them.  He used a screen, as we have been forced to do.  Yet, as explained in the book The Simple Faith of Mr. Rogers by Amy Hollingsworth, he considered the space between the screen and the viewer to be holy ground, a place where the Holy Spirit could take his words and be just what's needed for the student and parents on the other side.  Fred Rogers, by being himself, exuded the love of God that was unmistakable in person and on the screen.  In our case, a relationship already exists between our students and us.  Our video transmissions can build on it, and we can trust the Holy Spirit to bridge any gaps.