Finding Kinship in Unexpected Places

I am an admitted introvert. There's a stereotype that many of those who blog are not the most social people around. But introverts do like people, if not crowds of people at once. As a child, I could not believe my father's ability to make conversation with strangers in elevators and sometimes find an unexpected connection.

I've been reflecting on some of the times that this has happened to me, in spite of my reserved nature. Yes, in our current society where people are zooming around in cars and wearing earbuds while walking in the neighbourhood, it's harder to make a connection. We may also need to overcome cultural hurdles as our towns and cities become more ethnically diverse. In such situations, even a head nod or a smile or a simple greeting can remind ourselves and others that strangers are human just like us. I share these brief anecdotes to spur you on to seizing the moments to connect with people you don't know. You might just find kinship in an unexpected place.

Teacher's College

After more than a decade of attending schools where everyone came from a family that believed the same basic tenets of Christianity, I went to a university far from home to begin my teacher training. I sat in classes with others who wanted to make a difference with young people, and we explored different pedagogies and discussed topics in groups.

I noticed for the first month that not one of my cohort of about 25 budding educators said one word about church, God or faith. In a rare moment of boldness, I made low-key mention of attending church on the weekend. Suddenly, I found out that a significant contingent of my class had a church affliliation. One classmate decided to organize a time when anyone interested could visit the parish he attended in the town of Callender. Three of us were given the honor of carrying what were called "the gifts" to the front table.

At a Longhouse

After I had children, our family took a trip to a reconstructed Indigenous village and were been guided by an Indigenous woman through a longhouse. One of my younger children, age 4 or 5, in a moment of silence blurted out a spontaneous word of praise, "I really do love Jesus." I was taken aback when the guide responded in kind. Despite all that her people had suffered at the hands of those who bore this name, she said, "So do I."

Letters from Prison

About twelve years ago, I joined a ministry that writes letters of encouragement to inmates across Canada. As I receive Bible studies from women and men, I'm able to make small connections to each one of them. Things that gave us kinship were sometimes geographical, where I had previously travelled to that province or was familiar with something historical to that place. Other times, we were drawn together by the fact that we were both parents and had concerns about our children and caring for them well. For still others, the common human experiences of rejection, disappointment, loneliness and desire for hope and forgiveness, made it possible to write heart-felt letters to precious individuals I had never met.

Engineering

Freelance copyediting dropped into my lap many years ago when a friend asked me to read an engineering paper for a friend, who was not a native English speaker. Happy to help out, I gave feedback about the grammar and sentence structure, even when I had no grasp of the academic content. One thing led to another, and I helped a number of engineering students in my city with the form and style of their Master's and PhD theses.

One of these students went on to start a business, and he consulted with me to check over press releases or web content from time to time. After returning some material to him in the springtime, I dared to add a personal connection in my email by tentatively saying, "If you celebrate Easter, I hope you have a blessed weekend. If not, I hope you enjoy extra time off with your family."

To my surprise, he replied that he did celebrate Easter. A year or two later, he asked me to collaborate on two faith-based writing projects on behalf of his friend, a Lebanese-born Maronite priest living in France.

Nurse

My mother lives in a retirement home, which provides a level of nursing oversight for its residents. A few months ago, one of the nurses had a conversation with her, during which it came up that my mom is a follower of Jesus. This nurse, born in Ghana, explained that he also shared this faith. In fact, he now often reads some Scripture or prays with my mother while checking on her or after taking her blood pressure.

Church Guest

I'm as guilty as most in that I gravitate to those I already know before and after a church service. One Sunday recently, though, I went up to a guest and introduced myself. In our short but meaningful conversation, we had a geographical connection because I had attended a conference in the town where he lives. Then, we discovered that we each either translate or edit sermons for Korean speakers in North America. Finally, he was related to someone who would be working with me in the fall.

Front Yard Concert

In our city, one Saturday in June has been set aside for one-hour outdoor concerts. These concerts are organized and financed by the city, but homeowners are invited to offer a power source and space on their porch or front lawn or driveway for the musicians and spectators. 

This year we offered our driveway, and for that hour we had dozens of guests stop by to listen and to enjoy a frozen treat. The vehicle of live music was a way to bring together people of different ages and walks of life. One neighbor commented, "We should do this every month!" because it created a sense of belonging for all those who attended.

I encourage you to look beyond the external things that make someone you meet "different" in your eyes. Humans have become experts in putting each other into categories and groups, taking just split seconds to determine if someone should be classified with "us" or with "them." However, human kinship is real. Seek it, and you will find it, even in unexpected places.